Choices or Fate?
by lulupetts
Summary: Well, Emily comes back for a visit at BAU. (I'm not good on summaries, hehehe) The story is better than that!


**Okay, this is just an 'one shot' story, my first one. I hope you like it.**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Inside BAU elevator, around eight AM:

"Hey, Em, relax, they are all your old friends, remember? Still, we are here to help, right?"

"I know that… and I am relaxed… I don't where are you seeing this… that I'm nervous…" She protested.

"…From your impatience, anxiety, trembling legs, and you fought with me for no reason, for three times, only this morning…"

"I'm sorry…"

"That's okay… you are too sexy when you are angry…"

She rolled her eyes at him, and smiled bitterly.

"Speaking of sexy…."

He approached her.

"Mick, please, not here, someone could see us right now… This is a place of business and not for this kind of activity…"

He started to button one more button of the shirt that she was wearing covering all the neckline that she was showing.

"Calm down, love, Okay, I know you want me to hug you and kiss you, but now we cannot…hmmm….. okay…. it is better now… I just wanted to keep 'my things' private…" He said.

She raised an eyebrow: "Your things?"

Lucky him, the elevator door opened, at the BAU's floor.

Well this day had come when she would finally recover her old team with him there who was the only person that she had not even exchanged a single word with in those 18 months that she was away, working for Interpol. All the symptoms of anxiety that she had been feeling so far, since she had entered the plane to return to America, they seemed infinitely more pronounced now, weak legs, tremors, agitation, she felt the floor moving down or up, a strong mixer in the heart, her heart feels like it is beating very strong; a burning all over the face, nausea, dizziness, shortness of breath, uncontrollable urge to nail biting, she just could not relax now. Seemed being in another body she made her path to the BAU, crossing the glass door.

First scenario that she saw was all the team in their desks just like they used to do in the past. Blake, Morgan, Reid, also JJ and Penelope and Rossi were there because they knew that she was coming that morning, for her meeting with the BAU boss, Hotchner.

Everyone looked at her and Mick. She felt loved by all the welcome looks, except for his. Morgan, quickly got up, giving her a cold look and made his way to the small kitchen for extra doses of coffee.

Rossi: "Wow, look what the wind blew in today…. Are my eyes deceiving me. I have to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming, is that really you or just my figment of my imagination?"

"Rossi, you knew she was coming, you are being your funny charming self. Emily so good to see, we all miss you so much…." JJ went to hug her.

Garcia was already jumping up and down, squeezing Emily so tight that she was almost choking the life out of her:

"Emily, my dark hair beauty, how dare you for staying away from us so long. I could just hug you forever right now…"

"Pen, it is so good to see you too, missed you and everyone here so much as well but Pen could you please let go, you are squeezing me so tight that I might need to breathe because you know how important oxygen is for us all…"

They all laughed. She reached her hand to greet Blake:

"Emily Prentiss… nice to meet you…"

Reid: "Emily, so nice to see you again, statistics is so definitely right for you as statistics show that with age comes beauty, elegance and grace. Emily you look better with age always so elegant with radiance and confidence beaming. Nothing has changed you looking so well organized, professional and very charming as usual. London definitely agrees with you…"

"Awww, Reid...If I did not know you better... I would swear that you were using all your charms on me…." Emily said, smiling, hugging Reid warmly.

"Oh, Emily, I would never do that… especially now that you are…" Reid said.

"You are engaged!" Garcia yelled, creating an inexplicable awkward situation, that Emily quickly tried to dissolve.

"You guys remember, Mick, right?"

"Way to Go, Emily, you finally listened to me even if it was many years delay saying he is just oversexed with British accent…" JJ whispered to Emily.

While everyone was greeting Mick, Emily walked a few steps to be able to look at the small kitchen. Derek was still there leaned on the wall with a cup of coffee in his hands, their eyes briefly met, but quickly Derek made his path by her, almost bumping her. He made his way to the meeting room.

* * *

Interpol and BAU had joined forces to capture an outlaw American who was interacting around Europe now, so, obviously, Hotchner had requested this meeting with Prentiss so they could work out a plan capture the UNSUB. They spent the whole day working on it, the entire team of BAU, Emily and Mick. Mick was currently working for Interpol also. He had been hired by Prentiss, as soon as she had assumed the Interpol office in London. Although he was ten years younger than her, they were trying to find their way to be happy together, pretending that their age was the problem and not the lack of love.

During all the time that they had to interact professionally, Morgan and Prentiss did it in the most formal and polite way as possible. For Mick, it even seemed normal, but for the rest of the BAU team, they knew very well that Emily and Derek were much more than what they were showing. They had always been partners and best friends in the past. They accompanied throughout their history closely. …A story that did not happen, though. But the lump that formed in both their throat during that last dance at JJ's wedding was so big that it seemed that the dance floor needed to be emptied so they could fit there. But everything always stayed in the blank space. No one never had dared to ask anything. Even the two people most involved.

* * *

Same day, at night, at the hotel, Emily was folding the clothes to pack, and saying:

"Thank God we were able to devise a plan in just a day's work…so we can fly back home…"

"I'm happy to be going back home too...By the way, what is the problem with Morgan?"

Emily heart clenched when she heard his name. She kind of stopped folding the clothes and looked at Mick. She said:

"Problem?" She was always pretending as if nothing was happening like they had pretended during the six years that they worked together.

"Yes… I mean… the other time that our teams worked together… years ago when you were still at BAU, he seemed so nice and kind and this time he just totally ignored me… as if I was not there…and he barely talked to you… I thought that you guys were friends…"

Her best poker face, shaking her head slowly, she said:

"I have no idea…I mean…..we used to work together… and… and… that is it… that is just it…Well, now… I'm going to get ready for the girl's night… Miss a lot my ladies!"

"…And if you don't mind, I'm going out too, right… only for a drink…"

"Of course not, Mick… you can go anywhere… It's a free country…"

"Wow, Emily… you show me a little jealousy sometimes is good…"

"I trust you, Mick… and I'm too old for this… Plus… I'm not like the young girls you used to date…"

* * *

JJ came with the car to get Emily on the door of the Hotel, and they went, along with Garcia, for a girls night. They went to a bar, where they used to go, and drank and talked about everything. Emily told them how she had fallen to the charm of Mick, pretending that she was happy with him, JJ and Garcia noticed that something was not well, but they wanted a good time together, and they did not want to argue about anything. Each of them spoke about their life, and they were happy to be together, even for just a brief moment only.

After that, JJ went to leave Emily at the Hotel:

"Emily, it was so good to pass this day and night with you… really… we miss you a lot…" JJ said, tears in eyes already.

"Yeah, not fair, Emily, not fair… why did you have to leave us… why? Can't you see how unhappy we all are? And I don't want to seem rude or intrusive but we are friends and I can say: the same sadness that I am seeing inside your eyes… and you know eyes don't lie…"

"Pen, JJ… I… I really miss you guys… each one of you, like I never, never thought I was going to… I mean… I always knew that it would not be easy for me to be apart of my family, my BAU family… my real friends…. That I love! But it has been a daily basis pain for me… I have to admit… but choices are choices… and life hardly gives us seconds chances…"

"If it was up to us… you would be back like NOW!" JJ said.

"I know… But it is not up to us… and I made my bed so I have to sleep in… But I miss everything at BAU, especially each one of you…"

At that moment, it started to rain, a heavy rain, so they said good bye, and from inside Hotel, Emily saw JJ's car disappearing, and she took a sigh, only imagining how she loved those people, and when she would be able to see them again, and wondering what she was doing with her life.

* * *

It was past midnight. Emily was still looking outside the Hotel, to the rain and her thought was so far away from there, thinking that she could not just go away without talking to him. At the exact time, a cab parked in front of the Hotel to drop some passenger and she just did not think twice. She got into the cab and gave the driver the address.

* * *

She rang the doorbell of his house, and waited, and waited, it was raining heavy but she did not care, she was soaked with rain water now. After about ten minutes, she was making her path to turning around to go back to the hotel, when she heard him opening the front door. She turned to see him. He opened the door and looked at her, still the same cold look. She approached him and said:

"Derek, say something, shout at me, anything, but this silence, cold stare is driving me crazy and it is killing me…" She was shaking because she was very cold and wet.

He was just staring at her. She said:

"Are you going to just let me freeze here in the rain?"

"No, C'mon get inside please... I was just not expecting you to visit..."

They finally were inside the house. He quickly then went to the restroom to get a towel for her.

"Do you want some dry clothes?"

"No, thank you…" She said while she was trying to suck a bit of water in her clothes, with the towel, and from her hair that was dripping.

"Derek, what is wrong with you? I don't recognize you…"

"Me? Do I really need to say?"

"Please!" She begged, ironically.

"You went away Emily! You went away as if we were nothing at all to each other!"

"Oh really? You let me go as if we were nothing at all!"

"But I did not get engaged to anyone!" He shouted at her.

"Oh… so, that is what this about… He was just there for me, Derek! I mean… he is cool, he is always there… I'm not alone anymore and I no longer have to be living on a tightrope… I know he will always be there…"

"Who do you think you are fooling Emily? You can fool that little bastard but not me..."

"I'm not fooling anyone! I don't understand your reaction at all, Derek… we used to be like bros, right?"

"Be clear… what do you want me to say, Emily?" He crossed his arms.

"Be honest with yourself, Derek, at least once…"

"Okay… I think love is more about behavior than words. I think love is you really sacrifice yourself for someone, respecting their wishes and their actions, no matter how deeply their actions are going to hurt us. I think love is showed by actions, Emily, and I'm really sorry if you could see by my actions how much I loved you… I don't know what world you belong, must be a world of fantasy! Where a little bastard… is he on diapers still? And I'm not asking this because he must be about ten years younger than you…nothing wrong with that but…. I'm saying this because of his stupid behavior…"

"You don't know him, Derek!"

"But I know you… look at you now… You can smile but I bet your heart is frozen and there is no life in your eyes… Fooling yourself! Congrats, Emily… Your new life…Is that life that you wanted when you chose to leave?"

"Look at yourself, Derek! Not at me…"

"I have my defects but I'm not living a lie!" He shouted at her face.

"You cannot judge my choices without understanding my reasons…You have no idea what are you talking about… At least, I am trying to be happy with someone… he is always there for me… all day, every day… Do you have any idea how lonely I was feeling in London?"

"Oh please Emily...Spare me..." He was disgusted.

"Do you think I'm in love with you, Derek?" She asked, teasing him.

But soon she regretted saying this because he approached her, really close to her, as if he was going to kiss her, and he was staring into her eyes. She could not stand him so close to her, his perfume that she had missed a lot. She broke the eye contact and walked away from him. He raised an eyebrow and asked:

"Was that an answer? You know behavior speak more than words, Emily…" He said, ironically.

She remained quiet. He added:

"….You asked if I think that you are in love with me...well, you might have forgotten that I am still a good profiler...…"

"I don't even fucking know what I came to do here…." She said, sadly, more to herself, almost in tears.

On that moment, Derek's heart melted a little, and he decided it was time to put the knife away, and really talk:

"I'm sorry… "

"You know what is sadder, Derek… we both know that we lost our timing… that little precious moment where our life could be changed totally to what you really wanted to live, and because of some twist of fate… does not happened…"

"I don't blame the fate, Emily… I blame me… and then I blame you… We could have worked it out somehow… and we didn't…"

Morgan kept saying:

"I know how stupid I was all this time… as soon as you started to work at BAU… and we had our crazy nights and that seemed to be working for both of us… and I was so wrong thinking I could have you as just one in my list when it was so obvious how much you had totally completely dominated me and stole my heart… and I just fooled myself for a longtime… thinking and waiting… okay… this feeling is going to pass… especially when you came to talk to me saying that we should stop seeing each other, out of the BAU… We were so good together doing that… no one never suspected… and it was stupid on my part to think that well...I can go back to the point that we were only partners at work...…"

"I always had feelings for you, Derek… since the beginning…. You conquered me with the sweet smile… and always protecting me… and yeah! Fuck! Our nights… But I always expected more from you… that NEVER happened… and you fucking hurt me… leaving in a blank space totally lost, without a floor…"

"Yeah… I got it now… and then you hurt me getting engaged with the first bastard that appears in front of you…But does not worth we keep talking and talking in circles here… I have this bitter feeling that our timing is gone… and we totally lost it… We both hurt each other so badly… that I'm not sure if we can fix this…"

"Yeah… our path went to a different way of each other and it is too far to turn back… and even if we could come back… the wounds would be devastating…"

"Was not love able to cure and deal and resist to everything?" Derek reflected.

"The question is… how much of all that love is left now…and will it be enough?" She said.

"Love is never having to say you are sorry… but I am sorry, Emily, for being such a fool and an idiot ever letting you go… Our love is always enough to get me through and move on. When I thought you died, my feelings for you, all the great memories I had was enough for me to go on and carry on even though my heart died wanted to give up on life many times…but the love I have for you, those great memories made me want to go on so yes our love is enough for anything for us to deal with…Even when you let me think that you were dead, even after all that we had been through...I totally forgave you..."

"We were no longer together for a long time, Derek… As I think now we never were… You had hurt me so bad when Jordan came to replace JJ and work with us… I mean… on that period we were so close, we used to fuck almost on daily basis and even so, I had to watch you turning your charm on her and still pretending that was funny…"

"I never had anything with her…"

"Does not matter now….Now we are here… two broken and hurt hearts… with our empty lives… what we are going to do…"

"Looks like you made your mind when you put this engagement ring on your finger… and after how many months you asked him to move in with you?" He asked, ironically.

Emily wanted to shout loud for the whole world to hear, and she was screaming it from every pore, but the donkey did not understand: Derek, you son of a bitch, you just snap your fingers and I run into your arms! How could you not see it! She was thinking. Instead she said:

"I thought you had put the knives away, Derek, that really stab my heart like any sword could, do not talk about a knife…"

"Emily, you have to be honest with me and honest with yourself, are you happy with him? Are you really happy with him? If you married him, you will have to be committed to him for life! Are you really willing to do this if you are still in love with me and please do not deny it to me because you will only be denying yourself the truth…"

On that moment, her cell phone started to ring, she looked at the screen and it was Mick. Derek demanded:

"Answer me and not him… If you answer this cell phone you can just go away, Emily…"

* * *

**Hi gang I am going to end it like this now because I want to leave it open for you people to imagine your own ending or do you think I should be writing another chapter. Please let me know what you think by commenting, giving me your suggestions and ideas. Thank you very much for reading and giving me your thoughts.**


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